Easter
by Cats070911
Summary: Sequel to 'Invisible to the Eye' set at Howenstowe during the Easter holidays as Tommy and Barbara come to terms with their engagement and lives together.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: **As always the characters belong to Elizabeth George and the BBC.

This is a sequel to 'Invisible to the Eye' and covers their Easter in Howenstowe, this time from Barbara's point of view.

Thank you for your messages and PMs. It was time time rather than lack of comments that drove my earlier call to write less but it seems many of you wanted the story to continue. As I moved the original proposal into the first story I have had to adapt. It is a little raunchier than the more gentle Invisible. I hope you enjoy it as it unfolds (i.e. please do not ask me to hurry, I write as fast as my life allows).

* * *

The sun shone warmly through the window of the Bristol as it sped towards Cornwall. Her arm was stretched along the window sill and Barbara watched the light glint off her ring. She stared past it at the passing fields; everything seemed greener, fresher and brighter than on earlier trips and she smiled to herself wondering if it was a side effect of love.

She had been Tommy's close friend for years but their relationship had changed so dramatically over the last month that she felt giddy yet euphoric. He had wooed her so sensitively and beautifully that all her doubts and insecurities about a romantic union had vanished. His love seemed so steadfast that she almost believed they could overcome anything. That did not mean though that she was looking forward to telling his family about their engagement. She wanted their approval but she worried she would be a disappointment to the Asherton dynasty.

Barbara knew however that she had not disappointed Tommy. He had vastly more experience in relationships, both emotional and physical, and she had feared that she would not know how to effectively demonstrate how much she loved him. He had been infinitely patient and gentle which had only made her love him more. His proposal had been heartfelt but the fairy tale discovery of her engagement ring had been the catalyst to embolden her. She had suggested they find a hotel but he had refused, saying lovingly that they would regret surrendering to lust. With his reputation she had not imagined Tommy to be a true romantic but he had proved to be exactly that. He had told her sympathetically but firmly that he had a vision of how they should make love for the first time. He wanted a place where there were no time constraints and where they could come back to time and time again to relive the moment. A hotel was not part of his plan.

As always he had been correct and she was glad now that they had driven back to London. After a relaxed dinner at his house Tommy had slowly and tenderly kissed away her apprehension and gradually they had moved from two entities into one; mind, body and soul. All night they had kissed and caressed and held each other. Barbara had explored desires and pleasures beyond her wildest imaginings as Tommy had worshipped her and she had returned his love almost wantonly. She had felt secure yet free to give herself completely to him and receive all that he offered. Just thinking about it now made things stir within her but she was no longer ashamed to feel lust because it was only the physical manifestation of a much deeper need for him.

"You're deep in thought." His rich baritone voice seemed to purr. She looked across to see him smiling at her and her heart quickened. It was his special grin where dimples formed either side of his mischievously curled lips and his dark eyes smouldered with such earnestness that she felt herself melt under their gaze. Through the years she had never seen him direct that smile towards anyone else, even Helen, but now it had so much more meaning. It had barely left his face since she had agreed to marry him, even when they had been making love. On Monday morning he had boldly phoned Winston and she had been amused at his ability to imply something completely different while telling the truth. _'Winston...yes look Sergeant Havers and I went to the opera together on Saturday as you know and I became infected with something very serious. I've spoken to her and I'm afraid it's hit us both with unexpected intensity. Neither of us will make it into the office today and perhaps tomorrow...thank you, yes it is a bad case, I haven't felt like this ever before...oh dizziness, weak legs, tenderness, exhaustion...I don't know about Barbara but I intend to spend the day in bed...no I agree, bed rest is the only thing for it and most definitely I wouldn't disturb her, Barbara can be a tigress at times.' _He had grinned at her naughtily the whole conversation but any attempt to rest had been delayed for an hour as she had tried, unsuccessfully, to kiss the cheeky smile from his face.

"Yeah, I still think I'll wake up and find it's all been just a wonderful dream." They had finally made it to work on Wednesday and Thursday and had tried to pretend nothing had happened but she suspected her face had betrayed her every time she looked at him. Barbara had stayed with Tommy each night and every minute together bound her to him more fully. She had no idea how they had sustained their energy levels with so little food or sleep.

"No, it's real; very wonderful and very real. Are you nervous?" Tommy looked as dreamily in love as she felt.

"A bit. I know you think your family will be fine but I still think they'll be shocked at how fast things have moved. I'm not sure they expected you to want to marry me. I wish you had told your mother over the phone to give her time to prepare."

"They will be delighted," he said assuredly, "besides I want to see the look on Mother's face."

"Great. I'm just a pawn in your family drama." He looked vaguely concerned so she laughed to reassure him. Underneath all his certainty about them she knew he fretted that becoming Lady Asherton would be too much and she would change her mind. "It takes more than your family to frighten me off." She had made her commitment to him knowing what it would entail. The opera had worked out well so she could make other things work too. She did not doubt that she would continue to love him as she had done silently for years. Her concern was that he had rushed in again as was his habit, and that he would regret his proposal. She knew he loved her now and it thrilled her beyond measure but would it really last?

"Then let's just decide about the wedding so we can tell them. All you've agreed to so far is sometime in summer."

"Tommy, we don't even know what they'll say about us being engaged yet. I said I'll think about it and we can decide when we're back in London." Barbara wanted to marry him but she was worried about his mother's reaction and whether he would still want this in a week, or a month or a year. She needed to leave him space for a dignified retreat from his offer. Everything had been so fast and so perfect she could not help but feel something would go wrong.

"I'll hold you to it. The sooner we marry the better as far as I'm concerned."

"We're together, why does being married make such a difference?" there was something about his urgency that troubled her.

"Logically it doesn't but it is important to me. I can't articulate why but I want to be married to you more than anything else I've ever wanted." His expression was so sincere she wanted to ignore her reservations and drive straight back to London and find a celebrant. She smiled as she reached out and put her hand comfortingly on his thigh where it rested until they reached Cornwall.

The car pulled up in front of the sprawling family mansion shortly before lunch. It was Good Friday but the traffic had been lighter than they had expected. Tommy unloaded the bags then took her left hand and fidgeted to ensure his fingers fully covered her ring. "I want to tell them rather than let them see," he said in response to her raised eyebrow. Together they entered Howenstowe.

"Tommy! Barbara! How wonderful to see you again," his mother greeted. Anyone would think it had been six months and not six days since they had seen each other. Barbara struggled to match her hug with only one arm but Tommy's grip intensified rather than relaxed. Matthew and Judith appeared from another room followed by two bouncing dogs and George. The dogs jumped excitedly up at Tommy who awkwardly used only his left hand to pat them. Barbara noticed that all eyes were on their clasped hands. _They know! _Rather than hide it Tommy had drawn their attention.

"Mother, Judith, gentleman," Tommy said formally, "Barbara and I have some news to share." He held up their hands and adjusted his grip to show off the ring. "Barbara has agreed to become my wife and we plan to marry in the summer." His tone was triumphant and she knew he had planned this announcement for maximum effect.

The men shook hands heartily and the women overwhelmed them with hugs. Cries of 'about time' and 'oh that's wonderful,' accompanied warnings about his moodiness and foibles. "Please," he cried in mock horror, "don't frighten her off with the truth just yet." Barbara was relieved, if not surprised, by how readily his family had accepted her and she realised she how anxious she had been about this weekend. Now she could relax and enjoy it.

Barbara helped Tommy take their bags upstairs. She had expected that for the sake of decorum she would stay in a guest room but he took their bags straight to his room. "What will your family think?" she asked horrified.

"That we love each other and want to be together or that it is our house and we can do anything we like or that we are going to keep them awake all night with our insatiable lovemaking."

"Sir!" she exclaimed shocked at his last comment. She could feel her face blush.

Tommy grabbed her playfully and pulled her onto his bed. It was pillow soft and they sank into it. "Sir again is it?" he asked as he started to kiss her neck in just the spot that made her tremble.

"Stop it Tommy...we need...to eat," she said between kisses, "we can't stay in here all afternoon."

"More's the pity. I think Matthew wants to show off the mares he brought down," he said as he stood and extended his hand. "Come on the sooner it's over the sooner I can have you all to myself."

Lunch was informal and Barbara continued to feel more at home with both the house and the company. The family seemed genuinely happy about their engagement whereas she had expected at best reluctant acceptance. Tommy fawned over her and made no attempt to hide his affection. It was a side of him she had imagined had existed, but only in private, and she was still awed that he was so openly amorous and that his family seemed completely unruffled by it. The other night she had asked him how long this glorious, passionate and insatiable desire lasted in relationships. Tommy's answer had been well considered _'With us I hope it lasts forever. Usually lust morphs into commitment and companionship but we already have those so while the rate of our lovemaking will probably slow, the intensity of feeling never will because our desire is an expression of the abiding love we already share.' _As she processed his speech his eyes had burned into her and stripped through her last layer of hesitation. He needed to love fiercely and feel loved and she knew she could match his needs.

The mares awaited and after he had visited the kitchen to thank the cook, Tommy took Matthew and George to the stables to do whatever horsey people did. Horses and the running of the estate were things she did not need to understand, not yet at least. She had always known that one day Tommy would return here in some form. Now they were to marry she knew her destiny was also to spend much of her life here. It was a daunting prospect for a city woman but Tommy needed the excitement and buzz of London too so they would work through it. He delayed leaving her as long as he could but Barbara had reassured him that she wanted to spend time with Judith and his mother who was now insisting on being called Daze. She watched him walking and talking to Matthew. He looked so much younger and more vibrant than he had been in years and she wondered if others would think the same of her.

Dorothy gave her an extended tour of the house; every room and it seemed every cupboard. She was told the history of the furnishing and ornaments. The list of silverware was impressive and the paintings sounded valuable. The suits of armour in the hall fascinated her most but she had almost knocked one over trying to lift the visor to peek inside. She had half suspected to find the skeleton of a long lost uncle. Barbara was interested but bemused the way Daze seemed to be handing it all over to her like the final inspection before a house settlement. _We only announced our engagement an hour ago!_

As they returned to the casual sitting room she caught Judith and Daze exchanging knowing glances. She tried to ignore it but the women knew they had been caught out. "Barbara," his mother began. _Here it comes, the 'you're good for my son now but not good enough to marry him' speech! _"Judith and I, we are so glad you and Tommy are together. You've been close for years and, well, I always knew there was some sort of unbreakable bond between you and I'm glad that it is love, whatever that means."

Barbara smiled tightly waiting for the 'but'. "My son needs a strong woman who will love and respect him with as much depth and power as he feels otherwise he'll retreat. He and Helen made a mess of their marriage because they stopped communicating. You have to be stronger than him Barbara, you have to know when to push him to act but you have to always keep him close, make him feel needed. I think you know how to really love him better than anyone does but just promise me that if things ever get hard you'll pull him to you and not push him away."

His mother looked at her with such desperation and remorse that Barbara understood she was talking about her own actions all those years ago. All her doubts flooded back as she listened to his mother's words. She had been pushing him away regarding their wedding. Was it his actions or her insecurities? She had stood in Windsor and told him that they both needed to stop overthinking their lives. She sighed heavily before she replied sincerely, "I can't promise I will always get it right but I can guarantee I will always try."

"That's all we can ask," Judith chimed in as she out her arm around Barbara's shoulders and hugged her.


	2. Chapter 2

"Do you want to see what Tommy looked like when he was young?" Judith asked Barbara as they settled in for an afternoon tea of fluffy scones and fresh cream with the most fruity strawberry jam Barbara had ever seen.

The photograph albums fascinated Barbara. Tommy had been a handsome but lanky boy who had an air of certainty and morality yet an underlying vulnerability, a mix that Barbara had seen in him so often over the years. It was this duality that had initially broken down her biases against him on their first case. He had been confident and sure yet prepared to share his doubts and trust her with them in a way no one had ever trusted her before. If she thought about it he did not do that with others and she wondered what he had seen in her resentful and argumentative demeanour that had allowed him to believe in her.

There were lots of photographs of him before he went to Eton. He was playing with his parents and Judith, nursing young Peter, riding horses and sailing. He looked carefree and happy with his characteristic mop of unruly hair falling constantly over his left eye. As he grew up he lost the happy-go-lucky look and seemed more certain, and yet more haunted. The photos were more formal and he no longer touched anyone; even in group shots he was standing slightly off to the side. He looked lonely and burdened by some mysterious force. Some of the photographs of him in his Eton morning suit almost made her weep as she thought back to what he had told her in the chapel. She could see his suffering, almost hidden, behind his eyes.

The photographs stopped suddenly with a troubled seventeen year old boy, trying hard to look like a man, standing next to his frail father who was the shadow of himself from just a year before. It must have been a shock to Tommy to come back from Eton to discover his father so ill, and then to find his mother was having an affair. Barbara understood how devastating it must have been to a principled young Tommy. In his Oxford photographs his features had matured and Barbara thought he was the most gorgeous man she had ever seen. He had been undeniably handsome when she met him and he had aged in an endearing way that she thought made him incredibly sexy but as a young man he had been sublime. She knew she was blushing and that Judith and Daze had seen the yearning in her eyes But all she could do was stare at the images.

There were only a few of these photographs, mainly with Judith and a few with Peter and she made a note to ask him if he had more. Only after his relationship with Helen began were there family photos again. She understood but still found it incredibly sad, especially when she could see that same haunted look had returned to his eyes. The last few years had been harder for Tommy than even she had realised because with her he had been lighter and more free. In the last few weeks she had seen only positive things in his eyes and she never wanted to see them clouded again.

The men returned laughing and joking just as she was looking at the last pages of the album. The dogs lolloped into the room and jumped up excitedly at Barbara who patted them happily. "Oh dear," Tommy said laughing, "you know it's serious when they bring out the photo albums."

They made their excuses and went upstairs to change for dinner. Tommy embraced her and started kissing her as soon as he had shut the door. "I missed you so much," he whispered in her ear as he nuzzled her neck, "I hope Mother didn't bore you too much."

"No, she was very sweet. You were a gorgeous young man you know."

"You mean I'm not gorgeous now?" he replied teasingly, "that's not what you said the other night."

Barbara wiggled free and turned to face him and frowned pretending to scrutinise him for flaws. She was really looking at his eyes and was glad that they were indeed the happy, untroubled eyes of his childhood. "Well..."

They laughed and he jokingly tackled her onto the bed and held her tightly in his arms. Suddenly his expression changed and he stopped kissing her. "What did we do to deserve to be this happy?"

"Everyone deserves happiness Tommy, even us."

"When we get back to London will you move in with me? We agreed to get married as soon as we can anyway but I can't imagine a night without you now. I don't want to imagine it." He stroked her face softly waiting for her reply.

She sighed peacefully. "Neither can I. My untidiness might put you off though. I might be better waiting until you can't escape."

Tommy started to tickle her. "I think we can train you and I can compromise...a bit. If all else fails I'll get a maid."

"Don't start that or we will never make it to dinner." Barbara kissed him firmly then jumped up and headed for the shower. The steaming water fell in luxuriously large drops from the overhead shower-head and ran in rivulets over her body. She was lost in thought about how happy she had been this week so she barely noticed Tommy stepping into the shower stall.

"I thought you might like me to wash your back while you decide if you'll move in."

"Of course I'll move in. There was never really a decision to make was there?" she replied as she handed him the soap. The way he rubbed the soap and then his hands over her was not only functional but extremely sensual. "What are you doing?" she asked suspicious of his motives.

"Washing your back," he replied innocently while his roving hands and the way he was kissing her neck and ear told a very different story. She screwed around to face him and with only token resistance gave in to his insistent caresses. She put her hand around his neck and pulled him towards her so she could kiss him. The water tumbled over his head and cascaded down his back dripping onto her with an irregular and erotic rhythm. As he kissed her harder she was pushed back against the large white tiles. Their coldness was a stark contrast to the water and seared against her shoulder blades sending quivers across her skin. She pushed against his chest, her hands clawing for purchase down his back. He trembled and groaned and shuffled forward so that the length of his torso was pressed against hers. Her side bumped painfully against a tap and she yelped. Tommy muttered an apology and swung her around against the side wall. It was clear where this was heading and Barbara shared his urgency. Suddenly Tommy stopped and pulled away. He started to get out of the shower. "Where are you going?" It was a demand not a question.

"I forgot something," he said in a low voice, "I won't be long."

"Don't!" she said dragging on his arm to pull him back, "come back here." The doctors had told her after her shooting that she might have trouble conceiving and she had done a quick mental sum; any risk was small. "I don't want _any_ barriers between us Tommy."

He kissed her hard again but tenderness had replaced his lust and a surge of love pulsed through her. It was not long before Tommy's hands began to minister to her needs and she struggled not to cry out in ecstasy at his touch. Rapturous though the sensations were she needed to feel him as close as humanly possible. She started to guide him to exactly where she wanted him when he paused again. "Are you sure?"

"Yes! Oh Tommy stop teasing me please!"

He obliged slowly and they stared at each other in awe. Barbara floated into a new realm of pleasure. She could feel the heat and the texture of his skin as he moved, and knowing it was him, and only him, rubbing so torridly against her drove her to a fast and powerful climax that seemed to start in her toes and fingers before centralising where she and Tommy were fused. She smiled broadly in her afterglow, her face misted by the spray of the shower as she felt Tommy shudder and bury his head in her shoulder to stifle his cries. They held each other close, kissing lovingly and silently savouring their union.

They were brought back to the world abruptly when the water ran cold and they had to hurriedly finish their showers. They laughed and splashed each other in the small space then dressed speedily as they noticed that dinner had started ten minutes before. Tommy looked unperturbed as they strode hand-in-hand into the dining room but Barbara knew her face was flushed, not only with embarrassment. No one said a word about their tardy timekeeping although they had waited politely for them to emerge.

Dinner conversation flowed easily but she nearly choked on her chocolate pudding when Daze informed Tommy that the boiler was not performing with so many guests in the house and that they had run out of hot water during her shower. As cool as ever he had simply commented that as he and Barbara were likely to visit more often now he would arrange to have a much larger one installed in the next week. He squeezed Barbara's knee under the table then ran his fingers lightly but suggestively up her thigh. She tried hard not to react but she noticed Judith smirking. "I should replace the one in London too," Tommy said almost as an afterthought, "Barbara will move in next week and I'd hate for either of us to need cold showers." The innuendo was clear and everyone around the table grinned knowingly. _So this is how the aristocracy tell each other that they know their secrets. _

Instead of retiring to another room they all stayed chatting around the dining table until Daze decided to call it a night and she and George excused themselves. Matthew and Judith suggested that they go riding the next morning. Tommy looked keen but there was no circumstance under which Barbara was getting on a horse. "I can't ride," she told them bluntly, "but Tommy will happily go with you. I think he misses riding in London."

"I can teach you," he said brightly.

"Not this weekend. I think a sleep in would be good for me and the ride good for you."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, just don't fall off and hurt yourself."

The riders agreed a time and Judith and Matthew drifted into one room while Tommy and Barbara went outside for a walk. It was a crisp night but not cold and the stars were shining clearly in a sky swept by light brushstrokes of high cloud. They walked towards the hill behind Howenstowe and sat silently on a rock that Tommy told her was nicknamed The Lookout. He put his arm around her and she snuggled into his shoulder, her arm around his waist, as they watched the sea shimmer in the light of a near full moon. As the clouds wafted by islands of dark mystery appeared in the silvery water creating an ever changing landscape of illusion that captured her imagination. "I had a lovely day thank you. Your family have been great and Howenstowe is much less...frightening."

"I'm glad. I told you there was nothing to worry about. So now that excuse is out of the way we can go back to talking about our wedding. If I could do it tomorrow I would but we do need to plan it. You avoided discussing it in London but now we should discuss our options." It was clear that Tommy did not understand her hesitancy but he was gracious.

Barbara groaned inwardly hoping to avoid discussion tonight as she feared their ideas might be quite different. She had promised herself not to pull away from him but everything had been so perfect she did not want to talk too seriously. "Can't it wait?"

"What the wedding? Don't you want to marry me?" He released his grip slightly and she could tell he was serious.

"Yes! I do, very much but such a lot has happened in a month and my head is still spinning. I would prefer it if we could just fill out a form and it was done." He was watching her closely and seemed puzzled as if he was seeking more explanation. "This...relationship between us, well… it's private for me. I don't need to tell the world I love you, I only need to tell you."

Tommy hugged her closer. "I understand. I don't need a big wedding Barbara. We can go to registry office in London if you prefer, just the two of us. We can even borrow witnesses."

"No Tommy, I don't want to slink off either. I expect your family have expectations as well. I just don't want to make a decision yet, that's all. We will only do it once so we should try to get it right; to find what works for us," she said evenly not wanting to fight with him, especially about this topic.

"Ok let's think about this the same way we would review evidence," Tommy suggested, "big or small?"

"Small, most definitely, but I expect to include your family, and Winston and probably some of your friends, although I haven't even met then yet."

"Agreed. I will think about my friends, most of them are not really close. Location? London? Here? Some exotic hideaway?"

"Here probably. It makes more sense than London."

"Right. Religious or civil?"

"Er, civil probably."

"See we have narrowed it down quite easily. A small civil ceremony here it is then."

"They were my choices what about you?"

"Barbara I'd be happy enough to get married in zebra suits at the zoo if that was what you wanted. It will be perfect. Now we just need to work out the details but I want you to want the wedding too." He surprised her with a kiss that made her forget about the wedding.

"It's late, we should go to bed," she suggested as he started to nuzzle her neck.

"Best idea I've heard for hours," he said as they walked slowly back to the house, "we might have hot water again if you fancy another shower."


	3. Chapter 3

When she woke he had gone for his ride. Last night, despite his suggestion in the garden, he had not made any attempt to make love to her and had gently withstood her endeavours. Instead he had kissed her and held her close to him as if he was afraid to let her go. Contrary to what she suspected he feared, she was not afraid of marrying him or of being his countess, what scared her was that one day he might regret having married her and he would feel trapped and obligated as he had with Helen. She loved him and what they had now made her happy. It was enough that at this moment he loved her but Barbara had sensed his insecurity and as she showered decided to agree to marry him at Howenstowe as soon as possible.

Tommy returned around ten o'clock reinvigorated by his ride and found Barbara reading in the drawing room. He kissed her passionately as if his fears from last night were forgotten. "I'm going to shower then I'm taking you on that picnic I promised," he said as he raced upstairs. He returned in fifteen minutes in navy trousers, boots and a crisp white shirt that looked much more London than Cornwall. His hair was still wet and loosely combed into place and that droopy lock threatened to tumble forward at any moment. She wondered when he had started to wear it longer and if it was a conscious or unconscious reflection of happier days. He looked like a man in a hurry so Barbara, dressed in jeans and a light jumper, grabbed her jacket as they headed out the door into a pleasantly warm, sunny day.

Tommy helped her into the Land Rover then drove up a track on the estate that led to the cliffs. "It's beautiful up here on a day like today," he said cheerily, "we rode up here this morning and I found a spot perfect for our picnic." He turned off the track and selected a lower range then headed down into an isolated gully overlooking the sea.

Tommy parked the car at the head of a track that led down to a secluded cove. She climbed out of the Defender and he took her hand. A few weeks ago she had shrugged off his hand thinking he was treating her as a child when he claimed he did not want to be separated in the crowd. Now she understood he wanted her to hold his hand so that he felt safe. That haunted, insecure boy that was still trapped inside him craved love. "Tommy," she said as they started to descend. "I love you."

He looked momentarily puzzled then broke out his grin. "I know. I love you too." He gave her a quick kiss then led on eagerly past a small tangle of straggly shrubs to the beach. She recognised it from the photographs. It was where he had been with his father learning to swim. It was a small beach barely two hundred yards long. The coarse sand sloped up gradually to a band of tumbled rocks beneath the eroded grey cliffs. The twin headlands jutted out to sea further than would normally be expected which allowed the currents and surf to sweep past them making the cove's waters calm and clear. Tommy started to jog excitedly towards the nearest headland but Barbara's legs screamed against the effort of running on sand. When they stopped she was breathless and he was standing looking out to sea as if he was being energized by it.

There was a rock shelf beneath the headland and the waves pounded it constantly in perpetual battle to wear it down. Today it stood firm but eventually the sea's relentless barrage would triumph. Barbara watched the green ocean rise with a swooshing hiss and curl grey over the rock platform then explode onto the base of the cliff in a fury of foaming white that ran along the well-worn cracks and runnels made by countless ancestors then dropped back to join the sea. There was harmony and order yet randomness. The briny tang of the air intensified with every bass crash of the waves then died away, stolen in the momentary silence by the ocean reclaiming its soldiers.

They took off their shoes and walked along the beach picking up driftwood and throwing it back into the sea. Tommy made Barbara laugh when he used an enormous branch to draw a heart and arrow in the sand with their initials intertwined. "Anyone would think we were sixteen," she teased.

"We both missed this at that age so why can't we do it now? Why can't we have a carefree love where everything is possible and there is nothing to stop us except our own fears?" He pulled her close and held her to him as he lightly kissed her hair. "I know reality is out there waiting for us but I want to create times with you that in the future, when things get tough, we can go back to and hide in and know that no matter what we face we are with each other, supporting each other and always loving each other."

"We've always had that."

"I know but now we don't have to imagine the missing bits, we can have them too," he said with a wicked twinkle in his eye that made Barbara wish they were back in his bedroom. If his words were true then he had harboured, to some degree, the same desires she had over the years. It would certainly explain some of his possessiveness and jealousy.

Water lapped at her feet and for a few minutes as they kissed Barbara thought he was going to make love to her in the waves. The thought was tantalizing and as he pressed against her she could feel his interest but instead he broke free from her embrace and challenged her to race along the beach. She jogged a little to appease him and roared with laughter when he was showing off running backwards in front of her and stepped into a channel up to his knees. "Serves you right!" _Your other idea was much better!_

Twenty minutes later they climbed back up to the vehicle and Tommy pulled a large wicker basket, a bag and blanket from the rear luggage bay. "See I told you we would do the whole nineteenth century style picnic."

"Knowing you, you had them buy a wicker basket just to prove your point!"

"Are you accusing me of deception Sergeant Havers?"

"No Sir, never," she replied still not fully believing him.

He carried the basket purposefully across the grass to a spot he seemed to have pre-selected on his morning ride and then came back for the rug and bag. She imagined him on his steed surveying the coastline for just the right spot. She had to admit it was a beautiful view. The distance cliffs, with their strong grey walls that drew the eye to the green tipped moors, were the perfect backdrop for the lighter streak of sand beneath them and the translucent blues and greys of the sea. Barbara was fascinated by the rhythm of the water which seemed to move over the wet sand in time with her breathe. It was a perfect spot for their picnic. She only hoped his horse had not left any calling cards while he was there.

She watched Tommy spread out the rug then open the basket to pull out a classic red and white check cloth which he draped carefully over the rug. "You really are into the swing of it,' she said unsure if she was impressed or bemused – probably both.

He pointed out a yacht on the water and as she watched it cutting across the mouth of the cove she could hear him rustling in the bag. When she turned around she laughed uproariously. Tommy had fastened a bowtie around his collar and donned an old black blazer with violet-red stripes. It was too tight across his shoulders but he held his head back to lessen the strain. Her eyes were drawn magnetically up to his head which was crowned by a battered and possibly moth-eaten straw boater with a sweat-stained ribbon that matched his tie. Barbara could not contain her reaction and collapsed onto the rug in a paroxysm of laughter. "What on earth Tommy?" she finally managed to splutter.

He managed to sound quite indignant at her outburst. 'I'll have you know that this was my Exeter College boating rig at Oxford. I thought it would add the perfect nineteenth century feel to the day." He was grinning broadly and sat down next to her careful not to over-strain his coat seams.

As she looked at him she doubted she could love him more. This was a side of his personality she had only glimpsed before the last month but one she could get quite used to seeing. She gingerly pulled on his lapels afraid they might tear from the coat and pulled him down to her. "Do you have any idea how special you make me feel?" she asked before she kissed him.

"Because you are special." Tommy sat up and retrieved a small book from his pocket. He edged his legs around and nestled Barbara's head in his lap. "Comfy?" he asked and she nodded. He smiled down at her and opened the book and began to read.

"_How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.  
__I love thee to the depth and breadth and height  
__My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight  
__For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.  
__I love thee to the level of everyday's  
__Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.  
__I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;  
__I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.  
__I love thee with a passion put to use  
__In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.  
__I love thee with a love I seemed to lose  
__With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,  
__Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,  
__I shall but love thee better after death"_

Barbara looked up at him through teary eyes as he lowered the book. "That was beautiful Tommy," she said choking back the urge to cry.

"It's Sonnet 43 from 'Sonnets from the Portuguese'. Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote it in about 1845 to her fiancé Robert Browning but when they were published she implied they were translations of sonnets from Portuguese poets so as to disguise the highly personal nature of their relationship."

"The poem was wonderful but I actually meant you setting all this up and reading me love poems. The thought and the way you did it was so sweet. I'm lost for words."

Tommy took off his jacket and tie then shuffled around so that he was lying next to her. He removed his hat and plonked it haphazardly on her head in a light-hearted gesture. As she looked at the joy in his eyes she could not help herself and tears rolled down her cheeks. "I'm happy too,' he said as he leant over and kissed away her tears before his mouth found hers. His kiss was so devoted and caring that Barbara felt guilty wanting it to turn into something more carnal. Slowly he pulled away and sat up leaving Barbara frustrated. "Time we ate."

Tommy opened the wicket basket to reveal a smorgasbord of delights. On the inside of the basket lid brown leather straps held down two sets of white plates and bowls which he carefully removed and placed on the cloth. Next he lifted out two freshly baked baguettes and two covered plates, one with meats and savouries and the other with salads. Various condiments came out next and finally a bottle of wine and two large wine glasses. Barbara just shook her head. "You have thought of everything," she said as he poured their wine."

"Yes and if you don't like the wine I have a bottle of beer for you."

"Dunno if the future Lady Asherton oughtta be drinkin' ale M'Lord!" she said in her best imitation of a Dickensian wench. "I think one had best adapt one's palate to fine wine," she added in a passable imitation of Princess Anne.

Tommy grinned at her in that special way and her frustration turned to rampant desire that she was finding harder to fight. "The future Lady Asherton can drink whatever she likes as long as she drinks it with me," he replied handing her a glass. "Cheers."

"Cheers."

She wanted to make love to him and talk about the wedding but she also wanted to eat. Food won - they could spend all afternoon losing themselves in each other and she would need her stength. They sat side by side looking out at the ocean as they ate. Tommy kept looking across at her and smiling and she knew her face radiated adoration for him. "Tommy," she said, "about the wedding."

"Yes," he said slowly obviously wary of what she was about to say.

"I want to do it as soon as we can." She saw his shoulders drop in relief. "Maybe a small tent on your lawn or something although it would be nice looking out over the sea."

"Oh I'm so glad Barbara; I thought that you were getting cold feet or that I was rushing you. What you said yesterday was right, it has been a heady month but I know this is right for us. Don't ask me how, and I know you will say I thought the same about Deborah and even traipsed forlornly across the moors after her but this_ is_ different. With you I've found a certainty I never had. You make me feel complete, like I had lost something and now with you I have it again. I know that doesn't make much sense but it's only when I'm with you that I can be myself. I can dress up and be a fool or I can be the serious Earl and I don't fear being either like I do with everyone else."

She put her arm around him and their gaze locked. "I understand exactly what you mean." She knew she did not have to explain further.

"I originally intended to bring you to this spot to propose but that took care of itself last week and now that we have sorted the wedding details there is only one thing left to decide," he said reaching back into the basket and gently lifting out a large cake box.

"Don't tell me you've had your cook bake samples of different types of wedding cakes?"

Tommy laughed. "I never thought of that. You need to make another decision though."

He handed Barbara the box and she opened it to see a large cake with a detailed map of Europe decorating the top. She looked up at him astounded and Tommy had a peek. "Well, the cook did exceed herself!" he exclaimed.

The cake was covered in layer of firm, light blue fondant that had subtle variations in texture and colour to imitate the waves and currents. On top there were cut out fondant countries in different brilliant shades. England was white, Scotland blue, Ireland green and Wales was red. The other countries had similar identifying colours and each had little yellow dots to denote the capitals. Velvety white frosting was piled up to form the Alps and bold knife strokes had carved out the Norwegian fjords. A large hat pin was placed in London.

"You simply have to place the pin wherever you want to go for our honeymoon and then we can eat it. It looks delicious."

"When did you organise all this?"

"During the week. That's why I went to the kitchen last night. I wanted to check on progress." He was not smug but he was clearly pleased with himself.

"Thomas Lynley you are the most amazing man! No one at work would ever believe their moody DI could be so irresistibly romantic." She leant over to kiss him but he dodged her.

"Or that their irascible sergeant could be such a passionate lover," he retorted, "now choose somewhere so we can have our dessert." She could tell from his tone he was not necessarily referring to the cake.


	4. Chapter 4

"I don't need to go anywhere special. Maybe we could just come here?"

"Barbara, I am flexible with most things but I am _not_ spending our honeymoon with my mother!"

"I don't know where to choose. Where do you want to go?"

"Come on, there must be somewhere in Europe you have always wanted to see. Now's your chance. It's a chocolate cake hiding under there just waiting for you to decide," he said temptingly.

Tommy was trying to force her to choose but Barbara had no idea where to go. She had barely been anywhere and they would probably spend most of the time in their hotel anyway, at least she hoped they would. She picked up the pin and closed her eyes then stabbed it down randomly hoping that she had not picked the ocean.

"Interesting choice," Tommy said, "I'm sure we will enjoy it. We'll have lots of excuses to snuggle close."

She smiled as if her choice had been intentional then looked down. She had skewered the Alps and had frosting on her fingers which she licked off as she contemplated honeymooning in Switzerland. Fear struck her instantly. "I don't want to go skiing!"

Tommy looked at her puzzled. "Well technically we could at a few of the higher mountains but I agree it would be much more pleasant to hike in the summer."

"Hike?" She did not like the sound of that at all. "What about a scenic train or something? Or a nice mountain hotel?"

"See, you do know what you want to do. Would you like to develop our itinerary or will you trust me to select something appropriate?"

"Surprise me," she said with uncharacteristic spontaneity, "but no hiking!"

"So what is the maximum distance Lady Asherton will walk before requiring a carriage?"

"I can walk. I just don't fancy some Sound of Music trek across the mountains."

"They were Austrian," he replied and she knew he was making fun of her.

"Whatever. Are you going to cut the cake or just sit there?"

The rich, velvety chocolate cake was delicious and Barbara ate Greece and most of the Balkans and had her eye on the Mediterranean. As she ate her nerves settled and her heart rate dropped back to a regular pace. She had expected life with Tommy to be structured and orderly but he was charmingly unpredictable. She was beginning to realise that her horizons where going to expand beyond the Met and London and she would need to adjust rapidly. It was daunting and she had expected to feel overwhelmed but she was actually excited. "You spoil me you know."

"I like spoiling you. You deserve it and it helps make up for all the times I should have spoiled you and didn't." He rested his chin on her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her as they watched the ocean. The sun had moved lower in the sky and was casting a bronzy glow across the surface that made the cliffs look almost black.

Tommy insisted on clearing the lunch and repacking the basket while Barbara walked over closer to the edge of the cliff to watch a pod of dolphins frolicking in the waves. She turned back to see Tommy stretched out on the blanket watching her. His soft, romantic expression had been replaced by a more sensual longing that compelled her to lie beside him. He kissed her softly and slipped his hand under her jumper to caress her back.

"I had it all worked out," he told her, "I was going to propose right here and then make love to you for the first time. I wanted it to be memorable and special."

"It would've been lovely but last week was memorable and special too. I'm glad we didn't wait; I don't think I could have stood the tension any longer. I kept hoping after Greenwich and when you played me Turandot that it was heading that way but you certainly made a lady wait."

"I wanted you to understand I was serious about you and I wanted it to be perfect." He closed his eyes as if remembering. "That night at the opera, when you took my hand, that's when I knew you felt the same way and were ready to let me love you."

"You make me sound like Turandot! I don't think you had to melt my icy heart Sir. Anyway," she said impishly, "at the moment I'm _very_ ready to let you love me. It would be the first time outdoors, for me at least."

"Hmm, me too Havers," he muttered absentmindedly as he nibbled seductively on her ear.

Despite the growing pressure of anticipation in her abdomen their movements were unhurried. Tommy sat up to pull off his boots and socks and then carefully undid her laces and slipped off her runners. He traced circles around her ankles and then patiently massaged her feet as Barbara lay back on the rug enjoying the tingling sensation that ran up her legs. Tommy tracked his hands slowly over her legs and hips then tucked his fingers under her jumper and encircled her waist. He pulled her gently towards him until she was sitting then as he kissed he used his thumb to drag her jumper up her body as he inched his hands up her back. Barbara tugged anxiously at his shirt, prying it from his trousers before unfastening his buttons which allowed the shirt to hang freely. Her hands traced the outline of his chest in a way she knew made him quiver. They broke their kiss as he lifted the jumper over her head and off her arms. He expertly undid and removed her bra as they sank back down onto the red and white checks.

"What if someone comes past?" she asked, suddenly worried that the open air was more exposed than she had thought.

"I doubt they will but the risk of being caught adds a certain spice to it don't you think?" he asked as he shucked out of his shirt.

"It's only been a week and you already need added spice do you?" She kissed him rather erotically, even by their recent standards, and reached down to undo his belt.

"No, not at all," he said emphatically, "especially if you keep doing that."

It was not long before they had managed to shed their remaining clothes. Tommy was kneeling behind her, nuzzling her neck. She arched her back which pushed her breasts firmly into the palms of his hands which had been gently supporting them. He moaned softly in her ear and she placed her hands over his and guided them down her stomach, over her scar. She tried to guide them further but he stopped and gently pulled her down onto the blanket and kissed her tenderly. Barbara tried to reposition herself to find just the right level of friction against his leg but he reached out and stopped her.

Tommy stopped kissing her and lay up on his elbow and trailed his fingers lightly over her scar as she lay beside him. He seemed distracted and had lost the enthusiasm of earlier. "Tommy, what's wrong?" Barbara asked him concerned by his sudden seriousness.

"Nothing; absolutely nothing. In fact everything is perfect," he replied although she could tell he clearly had something on his mind.

"But…" she prompted.

"Yesterday, in the shower," he started, "I was wondering why."

She was suddenly back in his car the day he told her Helen was pregnant. She remembered his face and how haunted it had been. It had been obvious to her that it had not been planned, at least by him. "Oh Tommy, sorry I shouldn't have done that," she said apologetically, "it was a spur of the moment thing. I just wanted you so desperately and...unconstrained. It will be fine though, we won't have any undesired consequences. When I get back to London I'll see the doctor so that we can have moments like yesterday without worrying. I don't expect you to repeat it today. We can revert to what we were doing." Despite the intimacy of their relationship she found it embarrassing discussing contraception with him.

He frowned at her. "I don't want to," he said in a slow, uncertain voice, "and you don't need to see the doctor."

"Okay…" Barbara was confused and not sure how to respond. Was he telling her he had had a vasectomy? Surely then they wouldn't have needed to worry all this week.

"Well," he said hesitantly, "it is probably far too early to say this without scaring you but I want those consequences."

Barbara was not quite sure she understood what he meant. "What are you saying Tommy?"

He took a deep breath and spoke as if he were confessing to a crime. "I felt it yesterday and I feel it again now. Each time we've made love it's as if we become one and…well I want to create a little person who is made up of both of us and will forever be the embodiment of that love. I have to tell you now or I'm not being fair. I know it is too early but yesterday and even more now I want to make you pregnant."

That was the last thing Barbara had expected him to say. "Oh." It was the only reply she could manage. She suddenly felt extremely vulnerable lying naked on a hilltop discussing children. Surely this was a conversation for when they were married, clothed and rational.

"I want to be there with you for everything. I want to be nervous when you first suspect it and we watch to see the lines change colour. I want to be there holding your hand when you have morning sickness. I want to be excited to go for the scans and to see our son or daughter for the first time. I want to watch your stomach grow and then feel the baby kicking you. I want to support you when you're writhing in agony giving birth…"

"Great, you make it sound so attractive," she cut in. He looked deeply hurt by her comment and she regretted her joke. She had had no idea it was even on his mind. In all the rush of the last month she had not even though about having children.

He sat up and continued but in a slightly lower tone, his voice almost cracking. "I want to share the joy when we first hold the baby and then all the milestones as they grow up. Perhaps give them a sibling or two. I had hoped you wanted that too." He looked down at the ground, defeated.

She had not meant to trivialise it she had simply been shocked and self-conscious. How had they gone from nervous first kiss to discussing having children together in a week? She sat up and hugged him but he did not return her embrace so she leant back and looked at him directly. He looked up expectantly with the same haunted look she had seen in the boy would needed to be loved and it broke her heart that she had caused it. His mother's voice rang in her ears. _Don't push him away. _"Oh Tommy, I'm so sorry. I do want that too." They were not just words; she meant it.

"Don't just say it to make me feel better Barbara."

"I'm not. You'll make a loving father. I hadn't thought about a child actually being the essence of us in that way but it is lovely to think someone would carry both of us around their whole life, where every cell is a merger of you and I. But it scares me. What if our age and the shooting have an impact? What if it doesn't happen? What if I'm a lousy mother? I will've let you down." Now she was sad and concerned.

"No, you won't let me down," he said sympathetically, "you are terrific with children so they'll have the most perfect mother. And if it doesn't happen then it wasn't meant to be. I'm not after an heir Barbara, this is much more spiritual. I never had that with Helen and the baby. She never involved me, I felt as though it was hers and I was just the sperm donor. It only became real when she lost it. Anyway that's irrelevant; I only care about what we want."

Barbara looked at him with the most loving face she could muster and pulled him slowly down on the rug on top of her. "Tommy, nothing on earth would make me happier than being your wife and the mother of your children. It would be perfect if making love up here, this afternoon, created our child."

"But?"

"If you don't come here and kiss me we won't be creating anything!"

Tommy grinned at her as only he could. "You have no idea how much I love you."

"Show me then."

* * *

When they returned to the house Daze and Judith were out the front playing with the dogs. "I was about to send out a search party," his mother scolded. Barbara noticed that his shirt was not done up correctly and she blushed noticing that Daze had also seen it. His mother kept a straight face but her glance towards Barbara conveyed delight. It seemed his mother did approve of the affect she was having on him. Nonetheless she made a note to ensure they checked themselves more carefully in future. Today after their discussion they had lost track of time. They had lost track of everything except each other.

They showered, separately to avoid temptation, and were ready for dinner just in time. The others asked about their picnic and Barbara described the beach and Tommy's romantic poetry reading and honeymoon cake which seemed to astound his sister. "Tommy organised that? Our Tommy?" Barbara nodded and laughed at the sheepish look on her lover's face.

"Steady on old chap," Matthew said, "don't set expectations too high or George and I will never keep up."

"We're not competing for the same woman." Tommy was smiling but his voice had the same cool edge of warning that he had used at the restaurant when they first met Matthew. She was flattered by his jealousy but it could be awkward so she rubbed her foot against his leg to reassure him.

Daze broke the mood. "Barbara, has Tommy told you about our obligations tomorrow?"

"Obligations, er no."

"Mother, Barbara is not obligated to do anything," he said then turned to Barbara, "we go to the Nanrunnel Easter Dawn Service and then host a breakfast in town before the morning service in the church. I'd be happy if you join us but if you prefer to stay here that will be fine." He looked at his mother as he emphasised the last words.

"No, I'll come. Happy to," she replied reassuring both Lynleys.

"All settled then," his mother said ending discussion on the topic. "We'll leave just before five." Daze looked around the room and everyone nodded.

Tommy excused them and they retired to their room where he apologised for his mother's ambush. He was clearly annoyed. "She does that and it annoys me. There is ample time for you to adjust to 'our obligations' as she so charmingly put it."

"Tommy, it's fine. I don't mind. Now come here so we can get some sleep."

They snuggled in and she was almost asleep when he spoke. "Barbara I've had an idea."


	5. Chapter 5

The path started behind the church graveyard and wound around boulders and trees as it snaked up the hill. It would be perilous enough in full light but in the dark Barbara thought it was dangerous, especially for the small children who darted in and around her legs. Before they started to ascend Tommy had taken her hand and very deliberately interlaced their fingers. His hand was large and comforting and despite being unsure of her footing, Barbara felt safe.

Tommy carried a traditional hessian torch that had been lit from a small bonfire in the churchyard. The wooden handle was rough-hewn and with the heat of the flame Barbara could smell the warm sap evaporating in a smoky mix of pine and melted wax. He held it in front of them and the light pooled at her feet just sufficiently for her to take one step at a time with confidence. All the men and some of the women carried torches, a hundred of which, Tommy told her, were made each year by the women's auxiliary of the church. She suspected that none were wasted as she surveyed the procession of flaming lights that bobbed up and down in their own private rhythms as the parishioners walked in silent reflection up the hill.

As they drove to Nanrunnel Tommy had described the view from the hill at sunrise. The hill had been sacred to generations of pagan and Christian worshippers and the way he portrayed it led Barbara to picture Celtic tribes in flowing white gowns carrying long staves adorned with deer antlers gathered in a circle on the hill and chanting. She had made the mistake of mentioning it and the rest of the journey had been a lesson in Druidism and the use of pagan rituals as a way of converting early Christians which, to her surprise, she had found very interesting.

When she first saw the silhouette of the hill Barbara had wondered why they could not build a car park a bit closer to the top but looking at the faces now she understood that the climb was an important part of the ritual. To some extent she felt a hypocrite, or at least a fraud, but for the Lynleys today was more about being a part of the community that had built up within their estate than a religious experience and she could tell playing their part in proceedings was an important tradition.

She and Tommy had argued last night about his idea. She had accused him of a game of one- upmanship to upset his mother and had initially refused to play along. He had denied it and it had taken half an hour of explanation before she understood and believed his motives. Even so it was only after he had spoken privately to his mother this morning that she understood the significance to the family. His mother had embraced her heartily and with tears in her eyes thanked her for the positive influence she was having on him. The undercurrents of lost trust ran deep between mother and son and Barbara knew both of them viewed her relationship with him as a way of healing some of their past.

Walking with a group of people who were all contemplating their lives gave Barbara a chance to pause and consider her own. So much had changed so quickly that she had not had time to sort through her own thoughts and reactions. Being loved by Tommy was liberating. He had proved to be an enthusiastic and attentive lover and she could at last express emotions and desires she had repressed for years but this last week felt as if they had compressed six months of normal relationships into six days. Theirs had never been a conventional bond and she wondered why she worried that everything had moved so rapidly. She had seen him act like that many times; he built up to a conclusion slowly but once he was sure everything happened quickly. Even so yesterday's discussion had been unexpected and she hoped nature would give her the breathing space they needed to adjust to the thought of parenthood, although she could not deny that she had been very moved by his words and intention.

The trail became steeper near the top and Tommy helped her scramble around the waist high boulders that separated the slope from a large flattish rock shelf. The shadowy shapes of feathery conifers swayed in the torchlight, misshapen and straggly where they fought for a foothold on life in the humus that accumulated in the crags. A bonfire had been prepared and the worshippers settled themselves around or on the rocks that sheltered the clearing from the brisk breeze. As they waited for the priest to light it Barbara could see Daze and George on the other side of the clearing near Matthew and Judith but Tommy made no attempt to join them, instead waiting near the edge of the path.

The minister was a tall, thin man in his late fifties whose white and gold vestments and combed-over hair swirled around him as he walked with purpose towards the bonfire. He had led the procession up the hill and now paused for everyone to find a comfortable spot to rest. The only sounds were the rustling of clothes against rocks and the laboured breathing of people not used to just a strenuous climb. The minister held his torch high. "In the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was without form, and void. Darkness was upon the face of the deep and the Spirit of God moved upon face of the waters," he intoned with a deep baritone voice that seemed at odds with his slight frame. "And God said 'Let there be light', and there was light." He touched his torch to the dry wood and with a crackling hiss the timber and straw caught and spread slowly around the bonfire illuminating the area in a diffuse orange glow.

Tommy was no longer holding her hand but instead had his arm around her shoulder. It was a very open display of affection and although she leant slightly towards him she was wary of looking too friendly in case the villagers expected their Earl to be more formal and restrained. As the congregation listened and responded to prayers she knew he was observing the faces of the Nanrunnel locals just as she was doing. He of course would know them; where they lived, who they were married to and who their parents had been. There was a sense of community that she could feel amongst these people that she had never had in Acton. Sure, she had known her neighbour's names but here she was certain people not only knew the details of each other's lives but genuinely cared about each other. It was an aspect of life that was hard to find in the tumult of a metropolis. Families were gathered closely together and everyone seemed to be openly connected to others in a way that she had not seen at any churches she had been to before. She slipped her arm around Tommy under his coat and was rewarded with a loving squeeze on her shoulder.

This service was different to the traditional services she had attended as a child and she was beginning to understand the Easter storytelling tradition that Tommy had mentioned. A local farmer's son recounted the story of how he had fled from a burning barn last summer and a fisherman shared his tale of escaping from his sinking boat and swimming a mile back to shore last month. These personal stories added a humanity that seemed to bond the community with the Easter message of salvation. As the shadows faded from black to grey Tommy stepped forward and, as agreed with his mother, read the key passage about the Israelites crossing the Red Sea. He paced his reading in time with the dawn and finished just as the sun started to peek over the rocks. The minister lit a taper as a symbol of the Easter Light and then the congregation turned to watch the sunrise. As the sun's rays strengthened over the water a golden streak of light traced a sparkling path from the sun to the shore and the high clouds were tinged with shifting patterns of gold and grey and blue. The distant cliffs reflected the light across the breaking waves making their spray appear iridescent. Barbara inhaled sharply. Tommy had been right, dawn was beautiful up here.

The congregation broke into song and clapped and cheered the sun. Barbara understood what Tommy had been saying about the merging of ancient and modern worship. A folk band began to play 'With Joy the Morn is Waking' with a unique Celtic lilt from the fiddle and horn-pipe. She did not consider herself religious but she was moved by the experience and the feeling of the crowd. The minister made blessings and Lady Asherton read a prayer and the service seemed to end with a lot of noise.

Barbara was watching the sun over the water when Tommy came up and put his arms around her and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Beautiful isn't it?"

"Yes, I had no idea."

"Hungry?"

"Always," she said enthusiastically surprised that at the mere mention of breakfast she could conjure up the smell of bacon and eggs.

"After you," he said. When she turned she was surprised that everyone was cooking and eating. The morning had the feel of a county fair. The band was still playing and everyone was talking or laughing. Tommy introduced her to several of the villagers, too many for her to ever remember their names. She had been right though; he knew them and their families and asked all the right questions. She noticed Judith and Daze mingling in a similar way. She had somehow imagined his life on the estate to be more formal and staid; part of the community yet apart from it. Today she was beginning to see that the family she was marrying into was very much involved in the life of Nanrunnel and the surrounding areas.

"They like you," he whispered as they walked down the track, "even old Mrs Greene thought you were 'a breath of fresh air'. For her that's very high praise indeed."

"They're nice people."

"So you'll do it?"

"Yes, but I hope I don't make a fool or either of us."

"You won't."

Tommy stole a quick kiss then held her hand as they walked down the path towards the church which was nestled against the shoreline of a little bay. In the light Barbara could see over the clock tower to the little yachts anchored in the tidal creek that meandered around the base of the hill. The churchyard was alive with flowering camellias draped over some of the lichen-covered gravestones that were dotted amongst the lush shrubbery. The graves were all around the church set almost haphazardly amongst the rhododendrons and high grass. She knew of course the spaces were not empty but simply left unmarked by families who had not had the money to commemorate their loved ones. It was sad that now so many of those people had been lost to memory.

As they walked through the graveyard Tommy paused. "Do you want to meet the family?" he asked. Barbara understood and nodded. The Lynley family plot was something they had discussed when visiting her brother's grave. It had only been a month ago but it seemed so much longer. They were near the north Lych gate at the base of the hill, fenced off on ground several feet higher than the rest of the churchyard. She had expected a family tomb but instead there were two groups of graves. The first was a neat row of altar tombs with a second more recent row of ornate but tasteful headstones. Set further away were other graves, all marked with headstones of varying types and sizes. The altar tombs were strikingly similar with the family crest carved into the footstone and symmetrical hatching of crossed swords on the sides. "This lot are all the earls and their wives," he explained giving her a brief rundown on each of them and their lives. "That is where we will be expected to end up," he said solemnly pointing to a spot at the end of the row, "although if you prefer to be with your family in London we will ensure that happens."

It was such a matter-of-fact discussion that Barbara was not sure what to say. "I don't know, I hadn't thought about that."

"No hurry I hope," he replied clearly discomfited by talking about it, "and over here are the extended family; a tale of vagabonds and miscreants to be sure." Barbara could tell he was trying to be a little too jolly then she noticed a very recent headstone on a tiny grave and saw Tommy's reaction to it. _His son!_ She let him lead, not pressing him to move closer or move away. He paused but then turned and headed for the church clutching her hand more firmly.

The bells rang out for eight o'clock and Barbara stopped to admire the church. The treble bell sounded slightly off key with the deeper tenor bell. Although it looked like many other parish churches the grey moor-stone building had a quaintness that came from its little idiosyncrasies and imperfections. There was a rib missing in the window of its embattled square tower which was buttressed at the angles but still had a slight lean to the sea. Dark mossy stains from years of damp decorated the arch of the door and the bronze clock on the octagonal turret was three minutes slow. Tommy leant his weight against the heavy timbered double doors which opened slowly, scraping against the flagstones. "I keep meaning to get these re-hung," he said, "Reverend Thorne never complains, I think he believes it adds character."

Barbara followed him inside. It was lighter and airier than she had expected with whitewashed walls and a high hammerbeam roof decorated with crests on the pointing. The nave was supported by seven obtuse white granite arches and pillars that divided the congregation and led to an altar dressed in white and gold that sat beneath a beautiful stained window set into a gothic arch. The rising sun was behind it and the colours streamed into the church and glinted off the large gold cross. The side windows were recessed into the thick walls and as she wandered along she read the dedications. Most were paid for by the Lynleys but honoured local characters. Barbara was beginning to understand this family much better; they were not the elitist landlords she had once envisaged but respected and were committed to their community. About half way down the wall was a large fluted organ with pipes of verdigris green. Beside it was a reverent white marble memorial to those who served in the wars. The Union Jack to its left and a Royal Ensign on the right told a story even before Barbara looked at the engraved names. Many were marked R.N. with little gold crosses and '1916'.

"A lot of the boys joined the Royal Navy rather than the army," Tommy said, "quite a few died at Jutland; my great-great uncle among them."

"So many boys from such a small village," Barbara replied.

"A lot of them were from the estate. Most of them were fishermen or farm boys off for a great adventure."

"It's a beautiful church Tommy."

"Yes, it is. I haven't stopped to really look at it in years."

"Tommy?" she asked as a prelude to another question.

"Yes?"

"Can I change my mind?"

He looked disappointed. "About today?"

"No, about where we're married," she answered shyly, "I'd like to be married here instead, unless you don't fancy it."

Tommy smiled then kissed her. "I think that would be perfect."

* * *

I know I will get asked – the church is based on St Just at Roseland, Cornwall but for those who know it I have taken some poetic licence by relocating the hills loosely based on Alex Tor.


	6. Chapter 6

The water lapped against the rocks as the tide began to turn and flow slowly up the inlet. Barbara had persuaded Tommy to take off this shoes and socks, roll up his trousers and join her in soaking their feet in the water. His initial protestations of it being too cold disappeared as they sat and talked about the history of the village and the church and his experiences there as a child. Barbara was amused by the way he spoke almost in third person as if it had happened to someone he was observing rather than himself.

"How did you feel?" she asked for the third time, trying to make him personalise it.

"Nothing like being here with you does," he replied then leant over and kissed her. "I still can't believe I am happy, let alone this happy."

"Me either." Then she added, "this will work won't it? You're not going to wake up in a few weeks and find it was a mistake?"

"No," he said emphatically but kindly, "and neither are you."

Barbara smiled but there was one issue she needed to raise. "We've talked about everything except work. What are we going to tell people? What if they split us up?"

He ran his hand through his hair pushing it off his face which had become much more serious. "They will if we tell them. It's policy but I don't think we need to tell them anything yet. Assuming you can keep your hands off me in my office," he said with a degree of mischief in his last sentence.

"Don't joke. It's harder than you think."

Tommy bent over and whispered in her ear making her blush. "Tommy! It's Easter, you can't say that."

"Is 'I love you' okay for Easter?"

"Perfect!"

"Good, then I love you. We'll move you quietly in to my place and just not say anything at work yet. Not until we are married then we'll have to tell them. It might also be time you took promotion."

"Will the Met cope with two DI Lynley's?" she joked.

"Ah yes. I might be DCI soon if that's okay." he said somewhat sheepishly. Barbara looked at him as if to ask whether he needed to outrank her. "No, I don't," he replied to her raised eyebrow. "I've been told if I don't take it I will be re-assigned anyway."

Barbara was shocked. "Right, I see. When were you told that and when were you going to tell me?" she demanded a little angrily.

"In the week before we went to Turandot," he said levelly obviously trying hard not to upset her, "I didn't want you to feel pressured to get involved with me romantically because you thought it was the only way we could be together. I wanted you to want me for, well, me."

"Oh Tommy." She could see that insecure little boy back again. "I do love and want you for who you are. We would've found a way anyway, we always have in the past but I think this solution is the best one." She put her arm around him and hugged him. "Besides, you should've been Superintendent by now."

"Plenty of time for all that. What we have to do is organize for you to take your exams."

"Done." Barbara was quite nonchalant hoping that he would not make a big deal about not telling him.

It was Tommy's turn to look stunned. "When?"

"When you were on leave. I wasn't sure if you were coming back and I needed something to do. Anyway you came back so it didn't matter."

He shook his head. "We should have realised a long time ago shouldn't we?"

"Nah, it had to happen when we were both ready. I would've screwed it up before. Now I think I can be more than your friend or your lover. I can be your wife and your Earless."

"Countess," he corrected her, puzzled that she started laughing.

"You can be so easy to wind up at times Tommy."

He pursed his lips and grinned at her in a form of good-natured chastisement. "Life is never going to be dull with you is it?"

"I hope not," she said with a glint in her eye, "you'd be bored if it was but I may not get it right all the time. I can't be like your mother."

Tommy made a noise best described as a humph. "There are a lot of things Mother never got right either. She might have all the social niceties but you will surpass her in the important things like loving me and our children." He hugged her tightly and she clung to him. She would indeed love him with the intensity and passion he needed. Before long they were lost in a kiss that threatened to become too passionate. Barbara pulled away reluctantly. "We bet stop that," she said breathlessly, "what would the vicar think if he found us?"

Tommy laughed then leant back against a rock and nestled her peacefully in his arms while they watched the water. In the background they could hear the distant murmur of the townsfolk still up on the hill, a sound broken only by the morning conversations of birds. It had been an early start and Barbara could feel herself beginning to float into a world halfway between sleep and conscious thought. She was half dreaming about making love to him when she was jerked back to reality by a loud roaring noise. Tommy was snoring! She stabbed her thumb violently into his ribs which jolted him awake. "You sound like a bulldog!" she said unflatteringly, "keep that up and we'll need separate bedrooms!"

"Never. I will shun sleep forever rather than be separated from you." It was such a heartfelt claim that Barbara could not help but love him just a little bit more as they laughed together.

"You won't be," she reassured him in the way she knew he understood. Breaking away she said, "come on, we need to see Reverend Aston."

Most of the villagers wandered down from the hill in response to the tolling of the ten o'clock bells. After speaking with the minister Tommy and Barbara had been for a walk along the bay and now strolled hand-in-hand back towards the church. The spring morning was clear and warm and they watched amused as an indecisive squirrel hurried anxiously back and forth along a branch of a tree that draped towards the water. "He reminds me of Hillier," Barbara remarked, much to Tommy's delight.

They entered the church and Tommy stayed at entrance while Barbara moved to the front to sit in one of two Lynley family pews. Matthew and Judith were seated with Dorothy and George on the other front pew and Barbara realised she was expected to sit alone with Tommy on the shorter one directly under the pulpit. She smiled self-consciously at them then sat delicately on the old red velvet seat pad that was noticeably thicker than those of other pews. She expected a cloud of dust to rise around her legs. _The Lynleys must have delicate rear ends, poor things. _The pew was a simple, old oak bench in the same design as the rest of the church with a low, carved pew ends decorated with roses and scrolls. The timbers of the back of the pew were broad vertical panels which had darkened in patches where generations of Lynley backs had pressed against them. As she leant back Barbara felt the carvings of the top plate press uncomfortably into her shoulder blades. It was no doubt a clever way to ensure parishioners did not take a Sunday snooze. There was an aged, sweetly acrid smell from the books and timbers that had absorbed the oils and scents of the worshippers. The Bibles and hymnals arranged neatly on the stubby ledge in front her were dog-eared and tattered just enough to fit with the mood of the church.

She was amused to see a small white candle lying next to the books and she picked it up to examine it more closely. _They must have a problem with their electricity supply. _She put it back carefully then glanced down to notice the kneelers embroidered with the family crest. Hers sagged slightly but where Tommy would sit it was fresh. She understood that she was sitting where his mother usually did and of course she was rarely accompanied by Lord Asherton. Sitting there Barbara felt the age and significance of the church seeping into her in a strangely comforting way.

The lights went out and the congregation stood and turned towards the door. There was still enough light for Barbara to see Tommy use the taper from the Dawn Service to light the Easter Candle then hurry down the aisle to stand with her as the minister, now regaled in a white vestment with more ornate gold braiding, walked it solemnly down the aisle declaring his wish that all darkness be banished from the hearts and minds of the congregation. Two young altar boys stood nervously between the Lynley pews. The one with the sandy red hair and freckles looked at Barbara and she smiled at him wondering if one day it might be her son standing there. The boy refocussed and accepted the candle from the minister then approached Tommy. He picked up his candle and held to out to the boys who lit it from the smoky flame. Barbara hastily retrieved hers and held it out just in time. It was part of the service not an electricity issue and her face flushed at her ignorance. The boys moved over to light the flames of the other Lynleys.

Tommy led her to the front of the aisle where the boys had stood and the organ took a deep breath, just as Barbara did, before it began to blast into song. Barbara's voice was shaky as she started her rendition of Gloria in Excelsis. The altar boy turned around and smiled at her as he moved to light other candles and her confidence lifted as did her voice which reverberated sweetly and clearly around the church. The congregation remained silent listening to Barbara as all the candles were lit. She was aware of all the eyes on her and the meaning behind being asked to lead the singing. She glanced at Dorothy who was beaming almost as much as her son did at times and Barbara had no doubts that she had been accepted into the Lynley fold. _No escaping now, even if I wanted to!_

The boys lit the candles in the crowded church more slowly than the hymn allowed and Barbara was briefly aghast when the organist began it a second time. This time all the congregation sang and Tommy took Barbara's hand and led her back to the pew. He leant down and whispered, "that was beautiful. Thank you." She looked up at him and saw the pride and love in his damp eyes. He mouthed 'I love you' and the hymn's last notes echoed from the organ. Barbara sighed, relieved that her moment was over. She had agreed under sufferance because it had been important to Tommy but now it was over and she could relax she was pleased she had sung. Suddenly amidst cries of praise the church erupted in a fanfare of noise. The church bells pealed which made Barbara jump and Tommy and squeezed her hand reassuringly. The lights went on and Tommy leant over and extinguished her candle and then his own. Wispy trails of smoke drifted upwards to catch the bluish light that streamed in through the windows.

Reverend Aston climbed into his pulpit and delivered a powerful sermon on the message of hope and renewal and new life. Barbara was only half listening instead thinking that this had been exactly what Easter had been for them. Not only had they deepened their knowledge of each other they had in effect cemented their futures together. Barbara looked around the church and knew that despite them returning to their London careers it would not be long before they would return to Howenstowe and Nanrunnel to live. She doubted she would miss London. They would still go there of course and retain his house there but she liked the idea that this could be home. The faces of the people were open. They did not all have easy lives and would share the range of emotional tumult and life dramas of any community, but they were not faces that were lined with the grit of the city and the strain of the pace of life there. Barbara had always yearned for peace and acceptance and she could sense that here.

Tommy dragged her from her reverie as he pulled on her arm so that she would stand with him in time for the minister to read their banns. "I publish the banns between Thomas Lynley, 8th Earl of Asherton currently resident in Belgravia and Barbara Havers currently resident in Camden. This is the first time of asking. If any of you know cause or just impediment why these two persons should not be joined in Holy Matrimony ye are to declare it."

This was very official and real and she could hear whispers ripple down the pews. She swallowed nervously almost expecting someone to leap up and object that she was not good enough, had the wrong accent, or was too short and unattractive for their lord. No one spoke and she and Tommy sat down. His smile was like his mother's earlier and Barbara's insecurities retreated.

As they sat in the car after the service Barbara rubbed her right triceps. "What's wrong with your arm," Tommy asked mildly concerned.

"All those country handshakes," she replied, "I haven't shaken that many hands in years and some of those farmers fair pump up and down."

Tommy grinned. "I'm afraid you might have to get used to that, especially on our wedding day."

"Yeah, well I might join a gym to get into better nick then."

They drove back to Howenstowe talking excitedly about the church and the wedding. Barbara was overwhelmed by the guest list Tommy needed to invite. The only person she could think of to invite was Winston. "You're going to have to put some on my side of the church or it will roll over and tumble into the sea," she said.

"No, you're right," he said, "I was getting carried away. We will limit it to family and close friends only. We'll have a town celebration a few days before."

"Tommy, it's okay. If I can stand up and sing there I am not going to be intimidated by your 'obligations'. You just have to brief me well, like we are preparing for an interview with a suspect. And you'll have to expect a few Actonisms to creep through every so often."

"Oh," he said clearly intrigued, "like what?"

"Like wanting to change your well laid plans every so often. I think we should stop off at the beach for a walk then head back to London tonight."

Tommy grinned, "I think the rug is still in the car but…"

"I meant for a walk," she interrupted.

"Oh. A man can live in hope. And London? Are you sick of us already?"

"On the contrary but we will be back here often enough over the next few months. We have a busy week sorting out _your _promotion so I thought we could use tomorrow to move me into your house." It was blunt and direct and she could tell Tommy liked the idea.

"Yes ma'am. You are going to make a great DI." She grinned at him and was about to give him a sharp retort when he pulled over the side of the road and stopped the car. Her questioning glance was answered by a kiss that was both loving and suggestive. "But a much better, what was the term?" he asked feigning innocence, "Earless!"


End file.
